Stand Up For Yourself
Everybody has been bullied – I mean, everybody! Bullying is just predators who happen to know their target. Its not an argument. An argument is a conflict between two people with equal or almost equal amounts of power in the relationship. If there is an imbalance of power, it results in bullying. It can happen on the playground with kids, but it also happens to adults at work, in families, and just about any other time there is a situation where one person has the upper hand over the other. No matter if its a parent/child, boss/subordinate, husband/wife, their method is still the same. They choose someone who looks or acts like they won’t fight back. Or someone they know cant fight back. So do what they don’t want – stand up to them.
It could be words or worse, someone gets a little handsy or maybe they even try to play fight. No matter what it is or why, look them square in the eye and tell them “I don’t like that. I don’t want you to ever do that again”. And you have to mean it. That may not be the easiest thing when someone has power over you. So if you feel even a little uncomfortable about it, practice it in the mirror several times daily or with a friend until you can say it with authority and resolve.
Once you give it a try for real the first time, it may actually work. But if they don’t get it, make sure they know it better be the last time they do that. Consequences of course vary according to the situation, but most times a stern warning is enough. If not – always have a Plan B!
A plan B can be a number of things– too long and involved to get into in a simple blog. But taking a good beginner self defense course, especially paired with a few follow-up classes and maybe even the “Stopping Toxic Masculinity” class, (men comprise more than 50% of the bullies– I’m sure of it) will give you more than just a few Plan B options.
Diane Reeve Kirby is an 8th degree Black Belt with over 35 years of martial arts training. She was the sole owner of a karate school in Plano for 27 years. Her current focus is building confidence and safety for women and girls. Her motto is – Find Your Fierce!