Spot A Potential Abuser, Part 4
Everybody gets angry. We all have buttons that push us right over the edge. And everybody has experienced (or has) kids that have temper tantrums. But kids are supposed to outgrow that kind of behavior, right? They learn how to take a breath, take a step back and handle things in a mature and reasonable manner. However, some people never seem to grasp the concept. They go around with a “my way or the highway” attitude that often gets them in trouble. And if you get near someone like that , it will eventually spell trouble for you too.
The way someone handles anger is a testament to their maturity and their character. Initially, the anger is probably directed at someone or something else, not at you. So its easy to let it slip past you. And it is a particularly slippery slope. He gets mad, grits his teeth and clenches his fist then smiles till he calms down. The next time he raises his voice a little- or maybe a lot. Then there’s the alcohol or drug infused night when he puts his fist through the wall. Yes, it is totally a red flag, but it’s just this once and he had a right to be mad you say to yourself. Right?
But then there’s the snarky remark directed at you. Or maybe its a disagreement over money or the kids. Instead of a heated discussion, there’s a screaming match, the door slams, the car peels out of the driveway and doesn’t return till the wee hours of the morning. By morning he’s back to his old self but then it starts to get more and more frequent. Anger issues may dangerously escalate in any relationship if it’s not handled appropriately. And the real danger is that it can become a threat to your personal safety. You don’t want to experience it going from hitting walls to hitting you. So don’t let it get that far! Recognize the warning signs and get it handled or get out, before it’s too late.